Saturday, June 14, 2014

2 months ago on 4-14-14

It's been 2 months to the day that we put our gray kitty down.  It's also been 2 months since I've been able to talk about it without bursting into tears.  I miss that happy little kitty!

This is the last pic I got of both of our kitties together, back in mid-February.

Back at the end of February, Scout looked and acted like he was getting sick with a cold or allergies.  In Arizona, we have such a warm climate that things start blooming in February, so I just assumed allergies.  He sneezed, and sneezed, and sneezed.  In March, he was still sneezing and also showing other signs of being ill, like his nasal area was starting to protrude.  I called the vet and took him in myself thinking it would probably be some routine thing.  It ended up being a very hard appointment and I am traumatized from having to deal with it by myself.  The vet took one look at him, and from her experience she knew it was probably a brain tumor, but she treated him with antibiotics and steroids... but he never really improved.  In fact, he only got worse.  I called the vet again at the end of March, and they saw him again, but emphasized that most likely it was a brain tumor.  I didn't want to put this poor little innocent kitty through awful tests and try to drag his life out longer than it meant to go, so when he took a turn for the worse the weekend before the baby came, we decided it must be time.  Poor Scout started acting strange, and not himself.  He wouldn't come when called, he stayed his distance like sitting by himself in dark rooms or corners, and he started using the kitty bed as a cat box, which didn't work out too well for him since he stopped eating and drinking.  He lsot 7 pounds, and he was having bloody noses all the time and leaving stains all over the place.  One morning before work was very scary to me because he was bleeding so much.  I sent my mom over at lunch time to check on the poor kitty, who was doing somewhat better at the time she went over there.  In fact, I started my maternity leave a week earlier than planned so that I could try and nurse the cat back to health.  At the time, I felt like a failure when I couldn't get him well again.  I'm over that now that I see the whole picture and I'm not jaded by pregnancy hormones.

The evening before I was scheduled to be induced at the hospital, we had to put him down (4-14-14).  At first, I was so distracted by the baby and being in the hospital, but later on when I came home and things got back to normal, it was very hard to deal with.... plus that whole post-partum drop in hormones thing that happens made it even worse.  At first, I missed Scout a lot at night because he would jump up on the bed with me to cuddle.  I also missed him greeting me when I got home from being out and about.  And I miss him every time I open a can, because he used to come running immediately and meowing feverishly even though we mostly fed him dry food.

Here are Scout's last few pics in March... if you know what you're looking for, you can see the nose distortion starting.  It peaked at it's worst in April before we put him down.  I never took a really good picture of it because I didn't want to remember him that way.


The baby and Scout never met on this Earth, and perhaps it's better that way because I'm not sure Scout would have responded all that great to his crying and neediness.  Zip has a hard enough time with it, and we always saw him as super great with kids.

We had officially adapted Scout in early 2007 while we were living in our first apartment.  I always found it humorous that 9 months after we got married in 2005, Zip showed up and 9 months after that, Scout showed up!  Scout grabbed my heart from the very beginning.  He would look in the window at me in the very early morning hours while I exercised.  (The picture at right is him looking the other way out the same window he would watch me through!)  I would try to go outside to pet him, and he would run off.  It was obvious he had been in an abusive home previously.  Then one morning I noticed he was bleeding from a wound and decided to try to feed him.  He ran and hid, but when I spilled the dry food all over the porch, he was so hungry that he couldn't help himself and came up to eat the spilled food.  I started petting him while he was eating and he thought that was so nice!  I let me pet him and pet him.  We decided to help him since he was bleeding, and then at the last minute we decided to go ahead and adopt him because he was so sweet, plus our orange kitty was acting a little bit lonely and we thought he would be a good companion.  At first, the poor gray kitty would run and hide whenever Brian was around but a few years later he warmed up to him.

Here are a few pictures from March 2007 when Scout was a little guy:

When we first brought David home from the hospital, he would smile while sleeping and I think he was seeing Scout.  Whenever I saw David do this, I always told him to say hi for me and tell Scout I miss him!